30th Oct 2020

2 min readOct 30, 2020

MyDiary. Today -> 30th Oct 2020

On 21st Oct, he called me. Yaay! He called me , my wait didn’t go to waste. But what is he told after calling? I would be in cloud 9 by now, if his reply was positive. Yeah, you guessed it right he told ‘NO’. His mother is not agreeing to our match, as our horoscope is not matching. He said ‘NO’. I am still hoping for some miracle, which will never happen.

I don’t know why I was waiting for him all this time. When he called me I told him how much I liked and how much I was crazy about him. He felt amazing about me, he told me he liked my character or thought process. Should I believe him that he really tried hard for me? Who knows? If I doubt that, he can doubt that I am not that crazy about him. He enjoyed talking to me at our break up. I don’t say break-up, cos we were not lovers. He just called me to drop me, to get rid of me.

I told him, I had few pet names for him. I told him how I used to wait for his calls, messages. I used to just see him online and go to bed many times. Am I mad to think, there could be some miracle happening for me, which will bring him to me? I also feel many times that I understood him, there is no other gal who can understand him like me. No other girl who can love him, like me. No other girl can be happy with him, like me.

Truth being, these kinds of guys never reply to us, but they will be dogs with other girls. They want wives to control them, to play with them, they will do anything and everything their wives want them to do. They will suffer getting married to them, but still they don’t want to try the girl who is truthful to them. They don’t want a girl who obeys them, they don’t want a girl with emotional values. They want a girl who can party with them. The girl who can show off in their social media. Not the girl who can take care of their moms and dad at home.

I thought I would not be in contact with him, now I feel I should be in contact. I am not saying I’m the great person he should have not missed me, but I say he will not marry a girl who is better than me. Or maybe I’m not right one for him, he may get a better one than me. Am I being jealous? Am I acting weird? Am I starting to get pimples on my face, is it because of stress I am taking? I don’t know