MyDiary. Today -> 25th Sept 2020
Hi, I have controlled so hard not to drop a tear. Yes I did so till yesterday night. Oh by the way, he didn’t call me yesterday the whole time. I texted asking, ‘you broke the promise again’. He replied, ‘not well, fever since last night’. What should ask him back now? Should I be selfish and ask him that I don’t mind you being sick or anything tell me do you want to marry me? I wish I was so stone hearted. I couldn’t ask him, he didn’t say anything about that. I asked about his health. He was not really interested to msg me or anything. He just said,’I will explain to you tomorrow’.
Tomorrow is today, now it’s already 8 o’clock in the evening. He didn’t call me, me neither. Morning I asked him how is he? He replied feeling better. Next my question was he is having just fever or he is suffering from headache or body pain. Just my concern to check if it’s not COVID. I never received any call or reply to my msg since morning.
After texting him, I spoke to my family members. I felt soo bad to talk to them. They are suffering because of me. I started feeling bad about him. I knew our horoscope would not match, I took it forward as our thoughts matched. I was very happy to talk to him. His one good night msg soothes me more than anything. Many times I used to sleep off happily after seeing him being online, obviously he never msged me, but still I liked to see him online and go to bed.
My uncle asked me if he could talk to him on my behalf. Should I say yes? But why? I have been so patient and waiting for him everyday every night for his msgs for calls. Why should my uncle also wait and make a call to him? I don’t want to let my uncle down. My entire family, my friends are waiting for him. I told my uncle, my sister, my mom and my friends that his decision is no. Isn’t it better to atleast make my family happy? I didn’t inform me anything officially, but as I know his decision I considered that.
If he comes back I will be happy, if not it’s okay. Maybe I will cry hard. It’s very painful deep inside. I don’t know how to manage. Hoping for the best, bad headache, going to bed now :(
